Love Potion Number 9
by Kitsune Freak
Summary: Inui makes another juice that is going to cause Seigaku and others pain. Oooh lots of it. Rated T for safety. !NOYAOI! Pairings are just going to be terms to refer to, not relationships. It's for the humor! -Discontinued-
1. Inui Made a New Juice Again

KitsuneFreak: Hellos, this is a total crackfic. OMG it is not a oneshot. I hope that I can see it through till the end. My friend and I discussed this entire story over the phone, and thanks to her I'm actually writing. I give credit to her for many ideas. No yaoi as usual. But later on if you see things that can be claimed as guy-guy pairings please be aware that I heavily dislike yaoi, and know that I do my best to slap it as much as possible. In other words, any possible guy-guy will be butchered within sentences of when it first appeared. Hey, when you have a lack of girl characters you do what you can to keep with the story flow. Once again, NO YAOI.

Be warned, OCPs are found. A.K.A. Original Crack Pairings. See, I just made that up.

Awesome-Disclaimer-That-Should-Be-Remembered: Nopsies and Nadas.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

It was a lovely bright and billowy day, but one person was not outside enjoying the breeze and exercising. Inui Sadaharu was inside developing his latest of Inui Juices. Holding a vial in each hand he dripped the various solutions together to create a masterpiece that would wreak havoc upon the Seigaku regulars…and other various people.

"Alright everyone! 10 laps around the tennis courts," Tezuka said as they started to complete the final training of the day. Muttering to himself he wondered, "I wonder where Inui is. He hasn't been here all day."

"Hoi Fuji, Fuji," Eiji yelled waving frantically, "watch out! Inui's gonna crash into you!"

Sure enough, there was Inui slipping and sliding on the dry ground in the direction of Fuji. But since he's a tensai, he Matrix'ed away from possible collision and Tezuka just _happened_ to be behind him. We all know what happened next. Inui and Tezuka crashed into each other. But thankfully no one was hurt. Tezuka put on his stern teacher look and said, "Inui, please come to my office." And everybody simultaneously gasped. They all knew that if you were ever sent to Tezuka's office then you were in big trouble.

When everybody headed home, Tezuka turned to Inui, "Why were you missing all throughout the day?"

"I was making this," Inui replied as he held up a pitcher of pink liquid.

"Is this another one of your juices? What is it called?" Tezuka asked again while walking home.

"I have not yet named it, for I do not know its side affects."

"I see."

"Could you please try some of this?" After hearing no response he added, "I don't know if it's tasty enough for them, if you know what I mean."

Since Tezuka didn't want Inui spreading around some bogus idea that he was too chicken to even try out some pink juice that Inui made, he held out his hand to take the cup that Inui magically whipped up out of nowhere. Taking a deep breath, he drank the juice in one gulp. Handing the cup back to Inui, he had a slightly confused look on his face. He began to cough a little bit. Seconds later Inui was backing away very slowly for Tezuka was kneeling on the ground coughing more violently than he should have.

"Did I make the juice too strong?" Inui thought to himself. He immediately began thinking of places where he could hide a body with nobody finding out. Just as Inui came to the conclusion that Taka's basement was the last place that anyone would think of, Tezuka suddenly stopped coughing altogether.

"Uh, captain?" Inui tried, tentatively putting his hand on Tezuka who appeared to be looking at the ground. Tezuka must have come to his senses for he looked up. But not at Inui. He was looking at the local store that sold a multitude of bonsai plants. Rising to his feet, he walked to the aforementioned store.

"Hmm, Unnamed Juice causes sudden coughing," Inui pulled out his trusty notebook and began scribbling; taking in all the data he could and followed Tezuka.

Tezuka reemerged minutes later carrying a small bonsai plant, freshly clipped to the point where it was all curvy and its leaves formed cute swirly shapes.

"Oh, captain, I never knew that collecting bonsai plants was a hobby for you!" Inui commented hoping to make Tezuka forget about almost being killed by Inui. But Tezuka didn't reply, he just kept staring at the plant, and walked away to a nearby café.

"I wonder if the captain has a grudge on me now," Inui thought. "No wait, is he…_stroking_ the plant?!"

And sure enough, there was the pillar of Seigaku, stroking a bonsai plant. Inui could have sworn that there was a 68 chance that his captain was whispering sweet nothings to the plant. But he did not prod further, for he was gathering very valuable data.

"Hmm, it seems as though the Unnamed Juice causes slight to violent coughing. Then it suddenly stops. In our captain's case, he immediately ran off to seek a bonsai plant. Very unusual. I must test it out on someone else or gather more data. Scratch that. I'll do BOTH!" and Inui punched the air Power Rangers style.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you are) Atobe, Oshitari, Ryoma, and Sakuno just happened to be walking by, oh so slowly. Taking their time, you know, strolling, chatting, walking in utter silence, or blushing the whole way through. Hopefully you know who's doing what.

"Ah ha!" said Inui with an evil gleam in his glasses. Inui then directed his attention to Atobe. He wanted him to be the next lucky winner. He looked like one. Inui watched behind a tree as Atobe and Oshitari took a seat in the café only 3 feet away from the table with Tezuka and his plant. Atobe glared at Tezuka for the heck of it only find himself being ignored. This only made Atobe angrier so he went over to Tezuka's table and waved a hand in front of him, snapping Tezuka back into reality.

"Ore-sama does not like being ignored," Atobe stated flatly.

Looking up, Tezuka replied, "What? Did you say something?"

Stuck at a loss for words (which he was not used to mind you) he was there with an oblivious look on his face. Switching to a new topic he said, "Che, what's with that lame plant?"

"It is not lame."

"It so is."

"Look, you're hurting her feelings, okay? So just back off!" Now Tezuka was glaring daggers back at Atobe. And once again Atobe stood there like 'WTF?'

He thought, "Is this really Tezuka? What has happened to arch-nemesis I had known!?"

"So now you're plant's a she?"

"Blossom was always a she."

"Blossom?"

"Yes. Now go away." Tezuka then stared at the plant and plant alone, so Atobe found it very difficult to engage in a game of 'Let's Bug the Heck Outta Tezuka.' Giving an arrogant 'humph', he walked back to the table that Oshitari was still sitting at sipping his cold glass of soda. Sitting down, the waitress came by him to take his order.

"Ore-sama is in the mood for some pink lemonade," thinking aloud. Oshitari spat out some of the soda he was drinking.

"Coming up!" replied the way too bubbly waitress.

"Now's my chance!" Inui thought to himself. He grabbed a spare uniform under the counter and put on a blonde wig (long haired kinds). He took the pink lemonade that was on the tray and chucked it into the bushes and replaced it with the Unnamed Juice from before.

"Hey, Atobe, since when do you drink pink lemonade anyway?"

"Now."

Oshitari chose not to reply. Just then the 'waitress' came with Atobe's …pink … lemonade.

"Here you go," said Inui in a high squeaky voice, he then walked only a little away from them and hid behind the bushes with his data book, waiting…completely oblivious to the fact that he was still wearing the blonde wig and the café's uniform.

"Hey, doesn't that waitress look like somebody we know?" Oshitari asked rubbing his chin.

"Ore-sama thinks not. Like who has long blonde hair, squarish glasses that seem to gleam all the time, and is female?" Atobe answered picking up the glass and proceeding to take a big gulp from it. Oshitari followed up by taking a sip of his own soda, while looking past Tezuka (and his plant) at the strange 'blonde waitress'. He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a THUD that significantly sounded a lot like someone who just fell flat on the hard café table.

He looked, and yes, Atobe had just fallen flat on the hard café table. Like that. No warning. None at all. So Oshitari poked his captain lightly, trying to get some reaction.  
"Captain? Capt- AAHHH!" Oshitari screamed covering his face and falling off his chair. Atobe suddenly sprinted up like a drunk man and downed the remaining… lemonade. Atobe then looked oddly out of focus, and looked just about ready to puke.

'Ugh,' Atobe thought, 'Ore-sama feels awful. Can't see. Must gag.' Looking for a location to puke he stumbled over to Tezuka's table. When his vision cleared up this first thing he saw was Tezuka's bonsai plant.

"What do you want _now_?" muttered Tezuka under his breath.

"Oh, what a lovely maiden you are," Atobe grandly.

"Uh, umm, Atobe, you are aware that the blonde waitress is a bit… not right? I mean, she's not your type you know." Oshitari tried.

"What are you talking about silly, Ore-sama is interested in Blossom!" he exclaimed while pointing at the plant…

Things do not seem to be going uphill anytime soon. And Inui was still there taking in all the data, for he was well in earshot.

"Hmmm, I believe I shall call Unnamed Juice…. Love Potion #9." Inui thought scribbling.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Okies! Done with chappie one! I told you I'd get it up by New Years! I'm going to type up the next chapter right away while it's still fresh on my mind. If it looks like a cliffy sorry, I didn't intend it to be so. But read and Review….well you don't really have to read if you've already gotten here. I'm assuming that you already read the above. Oh and when the New Year starts I may post less often because then break is over. -sigh- But I'll try really hard! Ja ne!

R&R!


	2. Chaos Ensues Within Seigaku!

KitsuneFreak: Eh, sorry if the first chapter wasn't so interesting. I was just bent on getting the main points down on paper. I think I'll try to concentrate more on the humor factor now. Remember, no yaoi. Hope you like it!

Here is the starting triangle if you haven't already noticed:  
Atobe–x–Bonsai Plant  
Tezuka–x–Bonsai Plant

Super-Special-Awesome-Disclaimer: Mada Mada Dane.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Oshitari gaped at his captain with the look of absolute confusion. He wondered if Atobe was really pointing at the plant or just throwing a really lame joke.

"You're kidding right?" Oshitari asked.

"Ore-sama never kids," Atobe replied putting a hand over his heart and looked oh so dramatic. He turned back to the plant and kneeled down. To poor bysitters in the café it almost appeared as though Atobe was proposing to Tezuka. Almost. If it not were the fact that he was staring at the plant.

"Let Ore-sama introduce himself…" Atobe started.

Pause.

"Oshitari! Hurry up and do the drum roll!" he hissed.

Looking up Oshitari replied, "Huh?" He then hit the café's table, "There ya go."

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Look, you asked me for a drum roll and that's my drum roll. If you don't like it get somebody else to do it."

"Fine. Does anybody else want to do a drum roll?"

Crickets chirping.

"Anybody?" Atobe tried again.

Crickets chirping.

"Okay, anybody _besides_ the crickets."

Silence.

Sighing he said, "Fine, Ore-sama will just have to do this the old fashioned way" and whipped out a rose from nowhere. Facing the plant he said, "Hello, Ore-sama's name is Atobe Keigo."

Tezuka, who had initially looked with only disgust and disdain, had his features configure to that of horror. Quickly he clasped his hands over the plant shielding it from Atobe.

"No! Blossom don't look!" Tezuka exclaimed, "Where are your eyes, oh nevermind! Just don't look, it's too horrible!" Picking up the bonsai plant he ran away from the café leaving a very dejected Atobe. Behind him was Oshitari laughing on the ground like there was no tomorrow.

"Haha- I don't believe," Oshitari managed between his fits of laughter, "that you'd ever be so- ahaha- pathetic as _that_!" He just managed to get his arms onto the table after much struggling. "I shall never fall in love throughout the entire course of my life!," Oshitari stated mockingly and was about to continue but he choked on his own spit and began to cough.

Inui suddenly came up behind Oshitari (still in the form of the waitress) and offered a small cup. "Here, drink this; it might stop your coughing."

Oshitari was still skeptical about the waitress for 'she' had an evil glint in 'her' glasses, but he reasoned that it was okay to drink whatever 'she' gave him because, I mean who would try to poison him in front of all these witnesses? So he took the juice and had a little staring contest with it…

_Meanwhile with Ryoma and Sakuno…_

"…But I'm not really a stalker or a fan girl. Honest! That's Tomo-chan's job." Sakuno pleaded.

Ryoma just went on drinking his Ponta walking away, leaving Sakuno in the dust. However, he was feeling a little nicer today and stopped and held up his hand. "Prove it," he said with a smirk.

"Prove…what?" Sakuno asked, clearly not understanding what Ryoma was trying to get at.

"Prove that you're not my fan girl slash stalker."

"Oh…" Sakuno said looking a little dejected.

"So tell me." Ryoma stated.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what you're going to do, to prove that you don't only have me on your mind all the time every time."

"Well, I erm, I can…I will…," Sakuno darted her eyes around trying to find something to latch onto (no not literally) and her eyes fell upon Oshitari who was just awkwardly accepting Inui's drink. Snapping her fingers she said, "To prove that I'm not your fan girl slash stalker I will communicate to other people NOT from our school."

"Pfft. Show me. I'll be right here watching." Ryoma leaned on a wall nearby while Sakuno approached Oshitari…who was still having the staring contest with the juice. And we all know that Oshitari will lose sooner or later, 'cause hey, it's _Inui's_ juice.

"Umm, excuse me…" Sakuno tapped his back lightly, "hello, umm, nice to meet…you?"

Oshitari didn't pay too much mind to her and just waved his hand and downed the juice. By that time his cough had diminished considerably, but after he drank the juice a new set of coughs was released. Horrified at Oshitari's sudden coughing, she went over to pat him on the back hoping to 'ease the pain' although just poking him wasn't exactly helping anyone here. Sakuno then got really, REALLY scared 'cause Oshitari wasn't getting any better. On the contrary he was hacking so bad that Yukimura would even get jealous. No wait, nevermind. He was hacking so bad that even Yukimura would pity him.

"Ano, are you alright?" Sakuno asked. She was wracking her brains to find something helpful to do. All she wanted was to prove to Ryoma that she wasn't a stalker, 'Why? WHY?' she asked herself. But her attention from herself was redirected to Oshitari since he stopped coughing suddenly.

Putting her hand on his shoulder so that it seemed as though she were to turn him around, Oshitari's hand shot up to take hers. Sakuno saw him turn around and there were hearts in his eyes.

"Oh, the love of my life!" Oshitari exclaimed, while hugging the breath out of Sakuno. Ryoma, who was still intently watching from his end, had a look of confusion and surprise, complete with a trademark shrug. We shall call this 'confu-surprise' since it will probably be a common facial feature from now on. But ANYWAY, Oshitari was still hugging poor Sakuno like Atobe was paying him for it. That is, until Atobe found the sense to stop him. That was followed by Sakuno's mad dash back home.

"Ugh, look at yourself," Atobe frowned, "so…pitiful… You'd never get a girl like that."

Oshitari then gave an overly dramatic gasp and put a hand over his heart, "Do you not _believe_ in me?"

From Ryoma's perspective, you can probably guess that he was somewhat confused. Seeing that Sakuno was no longer around he proceeded home. Untainted.

"But alas, Ore-sama cannot meddle with your troubles for Ore-sama has troubles of his own…" and then he looked off into the sunset.

Oshitari collected himself from his 'angsting-over-his-newfound-girlfriend-that-just-dumped-him' pose and walked back home with his head hung down.

But what you all should have remembered is that Inui was STILL there. Like in waitress form and boy was he getting good data (Eww, not _that_ kind! Get your mind outta there! … But that does make you wonder…ahem, but anyway-).

"Hmm, it seems that symptoms may vary. Atobe displayed a sudden falling over. I should be on the lookout for more vict- err… tasters…" he brushed a strand of blonde hair out of his eyes and remembered that he didn't **have** blonde hair. Well, naturally that is. He took a mirror out and studied himself.

"Dang, this wig just doesn't go with my eyes," and then he tossed the wig out and ripped of the waitress outfit superhero style and walked home.

_The next day at Seigaku:_

"Wait; remind me why we're here again?" Oshitari gesticulated.

"Ore-sama wanted to win back Blossom's heart and don't you want to see that girl again? Oh, what's her name?" Atobe tried to remember.

"GASP! I don't even know her name! Well I'll settle for braid-girl until I get the courage to ask."

_On the other side of Seigaku:_

"Jeez, why can't nii-san come by himself? If he wants to scout out the regulars he should come. _He_ knows more than _I_ do about tennis…Jeez." Ann continued muttering to herself as she walked by the vending machine. Feeling thirsty, she took out a couple of coins, put it in, pressed a button, and got herself a nice refreshing drink. However, drinks from a vending machine was not good for Ann. Her brother tried so hard many times to get her away from them. He succeeded 20 percent of the time, though. You see, when Ann Tachibana drinks ANYTHING from a vending machine she gets ideas. Fun ideas, cruel ideas, creepy ideas, smart ideas, and etc., you know, ideas in general.

"You know," she said to herself, "that Momo is actually kinda cute now that I think about it. But there was that rumor that the only reason he was cute was because he has this weird makeup thing…" she thought to herself again. Hanging out with Shinji, really had drawbacks sometimes. Picking up his habit of talking to yourself, is one of them. She snapped her fingers as an idea came to her.

"I know! While I scout out the regulars, I'll check out that Momo. Yes, that's what I'll do…" With that she headed off to the tennis courts.

_Slightly off the courts of Seigaku:_

"I can't believe we still have to work so hard, even in this hot weather, nya!" complained Eiji to Oishi while heading back to the locker room. Practice was just over and Tezuka didn't really cut them any slack. For some odd reason, he was missing during practice too. He just came, ordered 100 laps (which was rare) even though no one deserved the evil punishment, and while they were running he excused himself and didn't come back. These types of things got Eiji suspicious. But he had to get rid of Oishi first, or at least have him agree to help him sleuth.

"Oishi, don't you think it really weird that our captain was missing for the last half of the practice session?"

"Well, he probably has something important to do. So, I wouldn't really bother him," Oishi replied packing his stuff.

"Well, what if that 'something important' is a girlfriend?"

Oishi stopped suddenly.

"Wouldn't it be cool if we figure out who's that special someone?"

"Eiji, I don't think we should-"

"Oh come on," Eiji begged with puppy eyes, "you know that the captain hardly shows us his social life and this is actually our chance at seeing him _interact_. Like with people. Normal people."

"Uh huh. I get you…" Oishi stated. He paused, "Wait, are you saying we're not normal people?"

"Umm…." Eiji looked around and pointed, "I think Tezuka went that way last."

Unbeknownst to them, a pair of gleaming eyes was watching them from the darkness…

_10 Minutes of Searching Later…_

"Psst! There he is nya!" Eiji exclaimed, watching the slightly bent over figure of his captain.

"Wonder what he's doing…" Oishi commented trying to look over his shoulder.

"Looks interesting," popped in a new voice.

Both boys turned around to find Inui, forever scribbling in his notebook. They all turned back to Tezuka and pretty much stood there and stared for like five whole minutes. And there was no change in Tezuka. He sat there, like a pillar…that he was… But Eiji's stomach started to growl.

"Ssh! You'll give us away," Oishi hushed.

"Sorry nya, but I skipped lunch today 'cause I had to study for a test and I'm really hungry," Eiji said rubbing the back of his head.

"Here take this," Inui offered holding three cookies with a pinkish tint nicely wrapped in a napkin.

Eiji hesitantly took the cookies and ate them slowly. 'I'm surprised,' he contemplated, "I expected these to taste horrible like his Inui Juice.' Eiji then quickly, but quietly, ate up the remaining cookies.

"Sugar can hide all…" Inui thought seeing Eiji speed up his eating rate. "Now it takes 3 seconds for it all to take place…"

3…

2…

1…

Eiji collapsed facedown in a very noticeable heap on the floor coughing only very slightly. This attracted the attention of Tezuka and he turned around, revealing Blossom the bonsai plant. In all her greenish glory.

"Ohmigosh, Eiji are you alright?" Oishi flinging himself to the ground after Eiji. Turning to Inui he resonated an evil aura that was complete with an evil glare, "YOU…"

Luckily for Inui, Eiji got up slowly, still somewhat dazed. When he felt a little better he said, "Hey Oishi…" but his gaze landed where it probably shouldn't have…

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Phew! All these studies and exams are piling so high. It's almost impossible to update. Plus, I have to do this section by section and the worst part is that you can forget a part which stinks. Thankfully, Ickiakki's always there to remind me what's supposed to come next. Thank you Icki! Please review since they are welcomed and hoped for. Try submitting like an idea or two; maybe I'll use 'em. Oh, and Icki, you don't count.

R&R!


	3. Poison Leaks Unexpectedly

KitsuneFreak: Just wondering, but, is anyone getting the problem I keep getting? I sign up for regular review alerts, and stuff but they come in my e-mail about a week after a person has posted. I don't know if it's just me. So yeah.

Oh god, I'm so afraid that I'll start new pairings that used to be unheard of. Really, writing this has bonuses but why do they always have a downside? Why? WHY?

Oh yeah, and if you find questions at the ends of some chapters then it's just because I want to be cool like that…erm…ANYWAY…

I'm-Running-Out-Of-Cool-Names-For-My-Disclaimers: Ownership of PoT is rather impossible… -nod-

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Oishi wondered why Eiji suddenly stopped talking and looked at Eiji questioningly. Cocking his head to the side a bit he looked at Eiji's eyes. The expression that he saw in that one moment was unlike any other expression he saw in their entire friendship. The young acrobat had a dreamy look and was staring straight at…Tezuka? (!)

"Um, Eiji, are you alright?" Oishi asked with the confu-surprised look.

"Yes," replied Eiji dreamily, but his dreamlike trance was interrupted by a certain bonsai plant.

Actually, Tezuka had already sensed the trio's presence and was only waiting for them to mess up somewhere down the line of spy work. Now this is where the phrase 'Don't let your guard down' gets handy. Therefore, Tezuka got up from his sitting position and walked over to the three.

"I want 50 laps around the tennis courts from you three now, no excuses," Tezuka said with his awesome poker face. (Ha! You thought he was gonna say that guard stuff, didn't you?) The three tennis players then hung their heads in dismay at the prospect of running laps. Yes, Inui too. Tezuka then went back to Blossom and picked it…_her_ up carefully. And then he resumed coddling the plant.

Eiji's eyes switched to that of jealousy and anger. He immediately began planning various ways that Blossom would meet her demise. As they walked away, to the courts to begin their unfair running Eiji held up his fist to the sky.

"The plant who stole his heart shall fall!"

Oishi, who had been really silent up until now, was all like OMG, WTF? So technically he still didn't say anything. He was probably shocked at the recent events.

But Inui DID say something. "Another rarer byproduct of LP9 is hot-bloodedness." And he continued to write in his notebook while running.

_With Ann-chan:_

"I know, I know nii-san…Yes, I will… of course…no duh, obviously…sure….okay bye," Ann said into her cell phone. Her brother was reminding her about all the things that she should remember to note while watching the Seigaku regulars. Flipping the phone closed she put it away and was about to walk to the tennis courts when she noted a blue-haired guy with glasses and a silvery-haired, arrogant looking guy next to him.

"Wait a sec, isn't that the guy who almost made me go out on a date with him?" Ann whispered to herself remembering the time when she was forced to go out on a date with him but was rescued by none other than Momoshiro! …and Kamio. So, just to be safe she crouched down and hid behind a trash bin where she noticed a very odd looking vial. Like the kind that women use to keep perfume and dab themselves with. It was a cute pink bottle and Ann wanted to keep it very badly but she remembered what her brother told her a long time ago.

'_Finders keepers, losers weepers. But at least attempt to find the person whom it belonged to'_

Yup, and that's exactly what Ann did. She put her hand above her eyes and looked all around her and there appeared to be no woman shrieking because she lost a perfume bottle. Smiling slightly she tucked the perfume vial deep within her pocket and waited for Oshitari and Atobe to pass her by.

"…and then you'll jump out of the bushes and go tackle him," she heard Atobe say. Both boys stopped right in front of her trash bin. Oshitari just leaned on it.

"Yeah, but how is that going to help me get Braid Girl?" Oshitari asked.

"Trust Ore-sama. It'll work. Now here are the details of the scheme…" and both boys went deep into the conversation about randomly attacking people hoping to get their 'appropriate lovers' back. And poor Ann was still stuck behind that trash bin.

_With Oishi, Eiji, & Inui:_

Eiji staggered off in the direction of the classrooms after the laps and left Oishi and Inui behind to put themselves together. Inui collected his data book and left immediately to seek something that he lost. Oishi on the other hand picked up his pack and was going to head home when something vile stopped him in his path. It was like, HUGE. Oishi couldn't even move one step further because of the horrifying thing. Oishi has always had the phobia and had never yet gotten over it. It just so happens that Oishi had talked to Inui about it and received a 'special' vial of 'medication'. So he quickly rummaged around in his backpack and found the triangular vial. Pulling out the cork he downed the solution. Consequently, he dropped the bottle where it shattered into a jillion little pieces.

We now zoom out to see the entire school for an ear-splitting scream of terror was heard….But everyone who was still at the school ignored it because, the students of Seishun Gakuen knew that this happened practically every day. Especially around the tennis courts. And today was no exception.

_Back to Ann-chan, Atobe, and Oshitari:_

Poor Ann was still stuck behind the trash bin because Atobe and Oshitari still weren't finished with discussing their plans of random ambush. What they were talking about, however, was so boring and so non-understandable that she almost fell asleep and gave away where she was. Twice! She had done everything she could think of to keep awake. These including biting her nails, chewing gum (she almost swallowed it), and even tried entertaining herself by playing a game of finger war against herself. Still none of that could keep her awake so she frustratingly stuffed her hands into her pocket and was surprised to find that the perfume vial was still there. Out of curiosity, she pulled it out and admired the lovely craftsmanship of it. Engraved on it were pictures of doves, flowers, and other things of the like. All of them melding together to form the perfect picture on the perfume vial.

"Since the craftsmanship on this bottle is so wonderful I bet the perfume itself has got to be the best thing ever," Ann thought to herself. She twisted the cap off the bottle slowly so as not to make any noise and took in a whiff of it.

_With_ _Inui at the Lockers:_

Shuffling was heard. Inui darted around all over the locker room, looking in every nook and cranny he could find. Dark crevices did not escape Inui's data-taking eye, except this time, he WASN'T data-taking.

"Dang it. Where is that bottle?" Inui hissed under his breath. He knew that if his mom ever found out that he used her favorite bottle he'd be crunchier than toast.

"Oooh, I knew I should have listened to my conscience before using the bottle to store some LP9." He rummaged through his locker again. This time, he found a testing vial with the name 'Oishi' written on it.

"Hey, isn't this the thing that Oishi asked me to-" and then he thought again before looking a bit sheepish. But you didn't know that 'cause he has glasses.

"Oops."

But he threw that aside and kept looking for his mothers bottle. If he didn't get the bottle emptied and clean and stuffed with some random perfume, he knew he was in for it. You see, Inui inherited his 'potion-making' from his mother. His mother used to be the best cook in the world and won 3 golden medals for it. Yes, she did. But alas, something happened and she lost her fourth competition. After that she became sinisterly diabolical, and made juices. When Inui was about 5 she gave him a sip, which altered Inui forever. Now he wishes to make a juice that could surpass his mother. It's almost as bad as Ryoma's disease to beat his dad at tennis. BUT to get back on the subject, Inui searched high and low for that darn little perfume bottle….which was in the hands of Ann….who was STILL behind the trashcan.

_Back to Ann and Co.:_

Atobe and Oshitari were still talking in front of that trash bin. You know, for two teenage boys that have a lot to say…. Anyway, the trash bin that Oshitari was leaning on gave a noticeable wobble. Both boys went silent and stared at the trash bin. It shook again. This time Oshitari was wise enough to step aside from the trash bin.

"Trash bins don't wobble on their own accord," noted Oshitari.

"Ore-sama hates to break this to you, but that bit of information was already known," Atobe answered.

The trash bin then jumped in the direction of the Hyoutei tensai.

"Oh my, it seems to like you," Atobe nodded at Oshitari.

"Yeah, gimme a break already!"

"No, Ore-sama is serious. Just look at how it's inching towards you," the narcissist said, and sure enough the trash bin _was_ inching its way to Oshitari.

"MEGANE-SAMA!" a high pitched squeal was heard. Ann jumped out from behind that moving trash bin and in all her shining glory, glomped onto Oshitari.

"OMG, it's a stalker!" Oshitari tried to get up from his squashed position and motioned for help. But no help came. Atobe just disappeared. Like poof. So much for the noble Hyoutei captain…

_At the entrance to Seigaku with Oishi:_

"It's alright my love. Nobody will harm you," Oishi cooed into an unknown thing in his hand. People to right and left were giving him really odd stares and thought that he was just going completely bonkers.

_At a new location we haven't been to before, also known as a random mall:_

Shinji and Kamio decided to buy some stuff for Fudomine and began shopping… Where they shall meet new adversaries. Contestants of undying love… No wait, nevermind, Shinji wasn't there. Just Kamio. Shinji was actually near the Street Tennis courts beating random people at tennis just 'cause he's cool like that. But trouble lurks in every corner. Including the corners where Inui never stepped foot in.

_And finally we see Fuji sitting in a tree….Not K-I-S-S-I-N-G:_

"What a lovely breeze there is," Fuji looked out and noticed a very irritating person walking by oh-so-casually like nothing was wrong. Well he's just going to have to prove him wrong. Yet, there was something ominous in the air.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Done-zoes! I had to put all those weird transitions at the end or else I'd never remember what I was supposed to type next. Well there ya have it folks. A nice little preview to the next chappie. I would call it a cliffy but, what the heck! Read and Review. I appreciate it.

R&R!


	4. Shinji Meets his Maker who gets MAD

KitsuneFreak: Okay, the weird late messages have corrected themselves. No problems now. In retrospect, I should have named the plant Marilyn since it would also go along the lines of TeniPuri but it's easier to play with the name Blossom. Also I should have reserved this chapter to come in at least 3 chapters ahead but since I was thinking about Shinji and what should happen then…yeah….Geez, if I say anymore I'll give away the whole darn thing. Oh, and there will be a few references to my other PoT oneshots, but you don't have to read them to understand what's going on.

And, I think I'm going to approach a new type of disclaimer message for once. -clears throat- Ahem… -song plays in background-

If you don't own Prince of Tennis clap your hand! –clap, clap–

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

_With Inui, on his way to a Department Store:_

"I guess I'll just have to use the money to buy a new bottle then," Inui sighed as he trotted along. He kept going until he spotted a little kid at a lemonade stand. He assumed that if he were to replace the kid with himself and the lemonade with LP9 then things could get better for his data gathering. Plus, he could make some money. So he paid the kid 25 yen and took over the lemonade business. He sat there on the chair and watched the kid frolic away. Looking at his watch, he noticed that it was already 5 p.m. and the people were gradually starting to lessen. But Inui was a patient fellow.

Shinji had gotten very bored of beating people at street tennis (although he secretly admitted to himself that it was very fun indeed) and remembered that he was lacked shampoo so he went and bought himself a nice big 23.7 ounce of H&S shampoo. However, for Shinji to get home he had to pass Inui and his lemonade stand. Things seemed uneventful because as Shinji walked by, Inui didn't appear like he was going to pounce on anybody. Muttering to himself about overpriced shampoos Shinji heard a noise. A faint meowing noise to be exact. Looking around he spotted an orange fluff caught underneath the tires of an old parked car. Putting his hand to his chin pensively, he muttered, "Should I go help save that kitten? Hmmm, I should."

(Un) Fortunately Inui heard the question and thought that Shinji was asking him.

"It's probably a good idea if you don't want that cat to be hanging onto your conscience."

"You heard me?" Shinji inquired with a bewildered look.

"Yes. It's hard not to hear someone at approximately 3'6" away."

"Oh is it? I always thought that if you're at least a foot away then no one could really hear unless they were purposely eavesdropping."

"Umm sure," Inui nodded, "So are you going to save that cat?"

"I thought about it."

"And?"

"I officially decided to save it."

A minute passed as neither boy moved. Inui cleared his throat, "Aren't you going to save the cat?"

"Oh, I had already decided to save the cat before you talked to me but you said that if I didn't save it then the cat would always bug me. Surprised by your acknowledgement of my existence I confirmed that you were listening in and you reinforced this fact by saying that it wasn't hard to hear someone 3'6" away and then you asked if I was going to save the kitten and I replied with a yes and I was thinking of the best way to do it and was just going to save the kitten but you interrupted me and asked me if I was going to save it so I looked up to answer you and that's why I haven't saved it yet."

"Okay, so I'll leave you to save the cat now," it wasn't that Shinji annoyed Inui…

"Just one thing."

"Yes?" Inui's eye twitched rather visibly.

"Can you hold this? I can't rescue the kitten if I'm holding this at the same time," he handed Inui the bottle of H&S. Then he ran off in the direction of the little kitty.

…It was just the fact that Shinji said everything in a monotone.

Very annoyed at Shinji already, Inui decided to get a little payback by adding 1.3 ounces of LP9 to the shampoo making it a whopping 25 ounces of shampoo…with other added ingredients. Inui shook the container to make sure it was all evenly spread out and then sat, watched, and waited. He watched as Shinji fished out the kitten's tail out from under the parked car. While Shinji petted the cat, a lady in her forties or so walked over. After a brief moment of talking, Shinji handed the kitten over, waved to the lady and walked back to Inui.

"Who was she?" Inui asked, curious.

"After saving the kitten she came over and I conveniently learned that she was the owner. I told her that she should probably be careful in caring for her kitten because it could happen again and there might not be someone to save it so she said that she was really sorry for causing me all that trouble and that she'll keep a careful eye on the kitten but before she left she offered me some money for helping the kitten to which I declined since I thought that it wouldn't be right."

"You could have just told me that she was the cat's owner, you know," Inui stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh I see," Shinji pondered a moment and held his hand out, "Guess I better thank you for holding onto the shampoo."

Inui placed the bottle in Shinji's hand but refused to let go. After several tugs on Shinji's part, he looked at Inui questioningly. Inui's free hand shot out with the palm faced upward. Still not getting it, Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"25 yen," Inui provided.

"25 yen for holding something for me for a couple of minutes?" Shinji asked uncertainly.

"You took 10 minutes," Inui checked his watch, "No, make that 8 minutes 34 seconds."

Shinji looked hard at Inui then concluded that there was no way that Inui was going to let go of his precious until he got the money.

"Fine," sighed Shinji. He pulled out his wallet and pulled out several yen and threw them down on the table. "Go buy yourself some juice," he muttered.

Inui's hand loosened for a single second but it was enough for Shinji to pull hard on the bottle and sprint his way home. He wanted to get back as soon as he could so he could take a nice shower, finish up homework, have a nice conversation with the wall and finally go to sleep.

Inui on the other hand counted up the cash to find that Shinji had given him 5 yen too less and he was _very_ displeased. But he didn't have any time to give off steam because it was getting late and he should quickly head to the department store to buy his mom a new perfume bottle and head home. He closed down the lemonade stand and was about to go about his normal business until… _hewasattackedbyarandommuggerwhoranoffwithhis20yen_! OMG! He chased the mugger up and down the streets of Tokyo, determined not to lose his newly earned money.

_With Fuji and the Unsuspecting Victim:_

Fuji watched with hate burning inside of him at the man who approached. It was Yuuta's idol.

Mizuki.

Grabbing two apples in his hand that conveniently grew on the tree; he held them up waiting, out of sight. As Mizuki passed under Fuji's tree, Fuji dropped both apples one after another. They landed on Mizuki's head with two distinct THUDs. Mizuki swore under his breath and looked up into the tree. He could see no one. So he picked up an apple from the ground and blindly hurled it into the depths of the tree. Being a tensai that Fuji was, he was able to dodge it easily. Things weren't as easy for Mizuki because the apple that he threw hit an apple-laden branch. Of course, that would mean that Mizuki was just showered by more apples of destruction. Fuji just smirked at his enemy's suffering.

Mizuki shoved off all the apples that covered him and heard a strange…battle cry? Looking up, he watched as a man wearing an orange shirt run in his direction but he was pretty sure that the battle cry came from behind him. Fuji had also heard that cry from his perch in the apple tree but, unlike Mizuki, he didn't have the ability to see where it came from since leaves were blocking 76 percent of his vision. So he relied on his sense of sound rather than sight.

Mizuki squinted at the figure that was behind the orange shirted man and noted that it looked oddly like the data-freak at Seigaku. Looking again he confirmed that it WAS indeed Inui.

"Get back here and give me back my money you insolent little mugger!" Inui shouted followed by several very colorful words and pulled out a sling shot.

Fuji, who was still in the tree, heard Inui and said to himself, "I didn't think that Inui could be so indecent!" We must remember the fact that Fuji can't see them from his position so we can't assume that Fuji knows that a mugger really _did_ steal Inui's money.

Mizuki watched as Inui swung the slingshot dangerously around his head before taking something that looked like a seriously oversized pill and placing it in the pouch to aim and launch it.

"The change of hitting the target at a distance of 5 feet: 100 percent," Inui released the pink capsule. However the one thing that Inui failed to calculate in his rush is that the mugger was running. In other words he was aiming for a moving target whilst he was moving himself. That tiny detail could throw off the entire calculation. And it did. The mugger utilized Mizuki as a trampoline to climb up the tree. So Mizuki was inevitably hit by the misfired capsule and let out a small yelp. Fuji still had no idea what was going on until some guy wearing an orange shirt climbed up on _his_ branch and proceeded to push _him_ off the branch that was, like, on HIS tree. And the tree was like HIS turf.

For Inui, running after the mugger was his primary issue. He didn't really care who he took out as long as he got his money back. On the way to the tree in the park, he had already shot like 5 other random people. So as he came closer to the tree he reloaded his sling shot and shot at the moving figure within the leaves. It hit someone's leg and with a yelp Fuji came tumbling down on top of Mizuki.

Going into Super Inui mode, he glowed with a green aura as he fitted the projectile tightly in the cushion and let it fly wherever it may. Several seconds passed as the entire world held its breath. Then, 20 yen came floating down. Satisfied, Inui continued his initial mission before he got distracted by the mugger which distracted him from closing the stand which distracted him from the initial mission. But we're smart and could've figured that out ourselves.

_With a Newly Formed Couple:_

"I love you,

You love me…"

There were several raised eyebrows and a few people even found the courage to look up.

"We are happy family…"

What they saw was what they assumed to be seriously insane child sitting alone on a small table singing to himself or rather his cupped hands in front of him.

"With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…"

The crowd at the café watched him as he hugged in beat with the song and looked like he was going to kiss something in his cupped hands but stopped like an inch away.

"Won't you say you love me too?"

At the end several people gave him a standing ovation for being so brave as to sing such a thing in public. One of them even added, "He's so enthusiastic about life and loves everything. Now everybody let's all return the favor!"

And so everyone suddenly broke into song. For a few people who did not know what was going on in the café (since they were outside) they assumed that it must have been Happy Hour. They also mentally added to themselves that they would not go near it with a 39½ foot pole. Like, what café in their right minds would brainwash all of its customers into singing such a song? Taka happened to be passing by and recognized a singer and went in hurriedly to see if his friend was all right.

Shaking his friend he shouted above the musical din, "Oishi! Oi, Oishi, you okay?"

Oishi looked up from his hand, "Huh?"

"I was wondering if you're okay…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. No problems here."

"Okay, then I'll le-" Taka stopped suddenly as his eyes grew as wide as saucers when he looked at the THING crawling around on Oishi's arm which paused.

"Oishi, do you see what I see?" Taka pointed.

"Huh?" Oishi stared at the spot for a while and put his other hand on his cheek happily. "Oh, look. It's giving me a hug!"

While Taka did a double take, Oishi was squeaking in delight.

Finding his voice Taka asked, "You know that that's a… bug, right? A cockroach, to be exact."

Oishi blinked.

And then ran away with the aforementioned bug screaming, "You're just jealous 'cause she's more beautiful than you are!"

And Taka ended up doing another double take.

"Isn't Oishi supposed to have a colossal fear of cockroaches?" he mused. "From what I've heard from both Inui _and_ Eiji, he supposed to have one. So why is he suddenly interested in some bug?" Taka couldn't mull over the issue anymore because he suddenly had various images that involved Oishi, a cockroach, and a wedding dress. And that made him do a double take. Again.

Poor Taka.

_With Tezuka & Blossom:_

"Ah, what a splendid view!" Tezuka exclaimed from the highest seat in the Ferris wheel. He looked fondly upon Blossom and held on to one of her leaves. He then let out a laugh that seemed too frolicsome for the likes of him. Because of that, It came out as more of a maniacal laugh than anything else. As the wheel's seat lurched downward, the plant seemed to slide away from Tezuka…

Away down the Ferris wheel, a small red-headed figure with uberly mad acrobatic skillz tried to climb up the many metal bars to reach them. On the other side of the wheel a peculiar silver haired boy was watching them via binoculars.

_With Kamio in the Mall:_

"Ugh. What's with all this junk?" Kamio stared disgustedly at the many shopping bags that he hung on to and checked the list to see if he forgot anything.

Tachibana:  
hair gel  
small red circular stickers

Shinji:  
L'Oreal shampoo  
grip tape

Sakurai:  
solid color bandannas

Mori:  
Caps 

Kamio didn't have to look at the list anymore because he knew that aside from those things, everyone else wanted Tachibana Worship cards. It had been easier to get them first. The entirety of Fudomine (excluding Tachibana himself) frequented the store so often that the owner decided to make a tiny section of the store just for them. Some cards had stuff on them like 'Tachibana is Fudomine's Love' or 'You are my Sunshine' that was written out with tiny Tachibana's all twisting around to form the word. There was even a 'We (heart) Tachibana'. After he had payed for the cards, he went to Macy٭s and searched around for bandannas (Sakurai insisted that they come from Macy٭s). While he was paying for the bandannas there, he saw Akutsu prowling around, looking oh so very evil with a miserable touch. It almost looked like someone had stuck him in a ballerina outfit and threatened to blackmail him, but Akutsu couldn't NOT do so because of one reason or another. But Kamio sensed the evil vibes with his rhythm vibes and left the store as soon as possible.

While searching for other Fudomine necessities he saw something horrifyingly scary behind a store window that almost made him wet himself before he ran as fast as he could all the way back home….I'll just let you fill in the blanks of what he saw.

GET YOUR MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER. IT'S NOT _THAT_… (whatever _that_ is)

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Oh this can be annoying…I'm starting to feel as though I can't write well anymore… Ugh, that's the worst feeling ever! Especially if you're in the middle of writing fanfics. (Or it could just be because _somebody_ forced me to eat sea cucumbers for dinner (Bleargh!)) Are my chapters still funny? Also, if there are any OCPs (Original Crack Pairings XD) you'd like to read that I haven't really thought about then just request. The main people that I haven't worked with (and are able to work with) are the rest of Hyoutei and Rikkaidai. Please don't ask for stuff like Yuki-Kiri, or Sana-Yuki, or the Dirty Pair. They're meant to be totally random and cracked. Read and Review please!

Onegai shimasu!

R&R!


	5. And They Were Like:

KitsuneFreak: Okay, it's chapter 5 everybody, the highest number of chapters I've hit yet. Let's hope that this keeps up. KiriharaAkaya, what you asked for was a really cool request. It'll go perfectly with what I had already planned. Tee Hee Hee. (Sadly, I think it'll have to come later on) But to get back to the story, here's a list of the pairings that we already know of. Cheesy names are TEH BEST.

Tezuka x Blossom x Atobe (triangle)  
Eiji x Tezuka  
Oishi x Cockroach  
Oshitari x Sakuno

TEH-ALMITEY-DISCLAMER-OV-DUUM: Lyk never! (Eww, bad grammar. But now that that's over with, on to the story!)

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

_With the Arch Enemies (not Atobe & Tezuka):_

Mizuki popped out from a pile of apples and he rubbed his head.

"Jeez, note to self: NEVER steal data-freak's money." His face suddenly grew worried as he searched about for something. "Ringa? Ringa? Where are you? " He shoveled around in the apples for a while before picking out the largest and reddest one. He brushed off the invisible dust around it and just stared at it…almost stupidly…but for the sake of Mizuki's image we'll say charismatically. Then he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the apple clean, all the while humming random tunes from various love songs, since he couldn't remember a whole entire love song.

Not to far from where Mizuki sat Fuji appeared to be sleeping. But he conveniently woke up for the sake of the fanfic ten seconds after we had just stated that he appeared to be sleeping. Awoken by the noise that a certain apple adoring fool was making, he rubbed his eyes before they focused on Mizuki. He looked confused for a moment, before shaking his head and standing up. Walking over to Mizuki, he held out his hand as if to help him up. Mizuki cowered before the almighty hand, as though expecting that it would somehow slap him silly.

"What? I'm just trying to help you up," Fuji said in a tone that wasn't too harsh.

"Ummm, no" replied Mizuki going all valley girl for a second while he was hitting the hand away.

"Why not?" asked Fuji.

Mizuki took in a deep breath and answered at Mach 5, "There's probably a cobra hidden in your sleeve or something and the second I grab on, it'll jump out, bite me and inject me with all its poisonous glory, which will probably make me die a horrible death or something while you're sitting on the side cackling manically watching me melt in a puddle of goo…And even if that was never going to happen in the first place, I'm _still_ not going to take your hand since it COULD happen, for all I know……or maybe I should just stop reading books on Cleopatra."

"Look," Fuji said with really unusual pout, "I just want to help."

"Fuji, you are supposed to be in angry mode right now. You usually are in angry mode whenever you see me anyway."

Fuji stood there like: o.O?

"Remember the incident with your brother, you know, Super Rising?" Mizuki waved a hand in front of Fuji.

And Fuji is now like: O.O?

"Okay, okay, okay. To put it simply, you're supposed to make an attempt to kill me right now," Mizuki explained, then added as an afterthought, "Just not like, RIGHT, right now. You see, I like living and all and I still wanna grow up and get married have kids and see them grow up and stuff."

"…"

Peering into the tensai's unreadable eyes he asked, "You're gonna kill me now, right?"

Looking up, Fuji gave an adorable smile and giggled, which very much scared the living and dead daylights outta Mizuki.

"Awww, you're so cute Hajime-kun!"

And it was now Mizuki's turn to go: O.O

-before running far far away of course…..

With a certain tensai after him……

Desperately trying to give him a hug….

WTH? O.o

_At a Distant Park:_

A man in an orange shirt obsessively hugged a tree. Passersby fled when they saw him and environmentalists patted him on the back.

_At the Local Hospital:_

"So what happened exactly?" the doctor asked.

"I don't know! I was just walking on the street, minding my own beeswax and bam. Next thing I knew, I saw one of my prize students totally knocked out on the ground" Ryuuzaki explained. Her granddaughter was sitting nervously next to the occupied bed in the hospital room.

"Well, is there anything else that you saw? Maybe something that could have caused Ryoma Echizen's sudden collapse?"

"Hmm," Ryuuzaki mused, "I do remember seeing an orange blur followed by another blur that seemed to be spouting colorful words. But other than that it was all just a blur."

"So you saw two blurs?"

"Pretty much."

The doctor sighed and got up. "All right, come with me." He then led her to Ryoma's bed where Sakuno was already sitting near.

"W-will he be okay?" Sakuno asked softly.

"Yes, I'm sure he will but he hasn't woken up in the past ten minutes so I'm going to have to take drastic measures," replied the doctor who turned around and began to do his doctor stuff.

Ryuuzaki had a look of horror on her face and stood between Ryoma and the doctor. "Whoa, hold on a sec! You're not gonna do what they do in all the movies and stuff where the guy doesn't wake up right?"

"Sorry?"

"I WON'T LET YOU SUPER SHOCK MY STUDENT!" and Ryuuzaki suddenly had all the knowledge in the world of martial arts as she Kung Foo-ed the poor doctor…

But of course, she was, undoubtedly so, an old ha- err… woman and she fell down half-way through her kick and landed on her head... unconscious. The doctor had backed away eyeing the messed up heap slowly and his eyes moved over to Sakuno.

Sakuno was rooted to her chair and she was all like: **O O  
**O

(All 3 circles)

"I-I'm so sorry…" stuttered the doctor, "I'll go get someone to take care of this."

"…" said Sakuno.

Not really waiting for a response the doctor ran away in an attempt to get away from a crazy psycho lady who randomly assumed that he was going to shock a kid to consciousness. He was just going to get a glass of ice water and pour it on the kid's face. Like, how inhumane would that be?

_With the Couple that Hasn't Been Mentioned in 1½ Chapters:_

"Look for the last time, I don't, I repeat DON'T like you at all!" Oshitari yelled back at Ann who apparently stuck herself to him like a magnet.

"But, but…" she gave him the deadly puppy eyes of submissive doom.

"No but's."

"What about our marriage and the baby. Think about that!" Ann cried.

"We're too young!" Oshitari then added as an afterthought, "and no, we're not ever getting married or having children for that matter."

While Ann's grip only got stronger she was all like: T.T

"Le-let go, I think you're cutting off circulation to my brain," Oshitari gasped. And Ann loosened her rather firm grasp. "Thanks."

"Date me."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I want you to take me out on a date."

"Of course not!"

"I won't let go then."

Oshitari looked around and saw that some people were already starting to give them odd stares and wanting to get it over with he sighed and said, "Alright, I'll take you out on ONE date within the next 3 days but in exchange you have to help me with something."

"Mmkay."

_Back at the Hospital:_

Ryuuzaki was sitting on the chair that Sakuno was sitting in initially with 2 icepacks to her head. Sakuno sat on the circular spinney stool. She had been forced to sit their after the first spinney stool collapsed under Ryuuzaki so she offered her chair to her grandma as an act of polite kindness. But Sakuno admitted to herself that the spinney stool was very uncomfortable.

"Ugh, I have a headache," Ryuuzaki grumbled.

"…" said Sakuno.

"It's a killer headache, too."

Sakuno was all like: -.-

"I can't believe headaches could hur-"

"Okay, you can stop now!" Sakuno whined a little louder than usual. Her grandma, the stool and the stark white hospital room was etching on her nerves.

"What's wrong?"

"Grandma, stop talking about the headache."

"If you had a headache, you'd be complaining too you know!"

"We've been here for 30 minutes since you woke up from falling off the spinney stool and in ¾ of that time you have not said anything other than that headache." Sakuno buried herself in her arms tiredly, "I think I'm coming down with a headache too."

Their argument was interrupted for Ryoma stirred suddenly. Both women struggled to push each other out of the way as they rushed to check up on Ryoma.

He gave a wide yawn, "Wha-?" He looked up only to see eyes staring down on him.

Ryoma blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

_Back to Ann & Oshitari:_

"Okay, so you'll need to dress up as a girl and monitor her movements," Ann said wrapping up the conversation easily.

"Wait, dress up as a _girl_? As in female?" Oshitari asked though he already knew the answer.

"Yup. It's the only way if you want to know her likes and dislikes which would heighten your chance of successfully wooing her though I don't understand the point since she won't fall for the likes of you," Ann explained.

Oshitari looked totally heartbroken at that statement. He waved his fist at the sky before saying, "Do you not _believe_ in me?"

Ann disregarded his peculiar action and nudged closer, "Well, you could always just go with me."

"Umm, no."

Now it was Ann's turn to be totally heartbroken, "But, but I already planned our honeymoon!"

"Not happening," Oshitari said dully as he stood up to go home.

"But I'm pregnant!"

Oshitari hoped that this was a lie.

_With Inui:_

"Hmm, today I've collected 5 pages worth of notes on LP9." Inui looked at something small scribbled in the corner of his unmarred green notebook. He examined it carefully for a while before sighing contentedly. He flipped through the notebook and looked a the many corner scribbles and read each one before adding 5 new scribbles in the corners of the new 5 pages he used on recording data on LP9 and its effects and side effects. His scribbling only became more profuse with each passing second. Manic laughter erupted from his room and echoed throughout the universe that chilled all spines.

_With Tezuka, Blossom, Atobe, & Eiji (the latter 2 have no idea of the other's presence):_

Eiji and Atobe both peered over from their hiding spots at the happy couple. One of the few happy couples. It seems as though the captain and vice-captain have the best of relationships. Darn them. But ANYWAY, to put it simply, Eiji and Atobe were stalking Tezuka and Blossom. Currently, they were playing toss the rings at the bottle.

"How distressful!" Atobe muttered to himself lowering his binoculars. "Ore-sama would have thought that Tezuka would have thought of a more romantic place than this! Oh, what hardships poor sweet Blossom must be going through."

On the other side of the tent that Atobe was hiding behind, Eiji used his uber cool eyesight instead of relying on a pair of binoculars. "Hmm, if I just run out and push that plant into the campfire next to that clown over there, then all my worries would be resolved…No, no I can't do that. Tezuka-kun would never understand, he'd think that I was ruining his life when, in actuality, I'm saving him."

Eiji gave up pondering as he stepped back to stretch. All that stalking was making him tired. But it was when he leaned back that he noticed the silvery hair of Atobe.

"What the heck is he doing here?" Eiji asked himself recognizing him immediately. He tiptoed over and put his hand on Atobe shoulder. The response Eiji got was, for lack of better terms, strangely painful. The second the hand touched the shoulder, Atobe's hand came flying out of nowhere and slapped Eiji across the face, leading to Eiji's undignified yelp.

Turning around, Atobe realized who he slapped. "Oh, Eiji, it's you."

"What was that for?"

"Safety measures," Atobe answered simply.

"Right," Eiji stepped back a bit. "So what are you doing here?"

"Ore-sama was just about to ask you the same thing."

Both looked at Tezuka and Blossom at the same time before looking at each other.

"Okay, so which one are you following? I'm tailing Tezuka."

"Blossom."

"Yeah, okay so-" the name registered in Eiji's head, "Wait, it has a _name_?"

And so, the two began to bicker about names and plant rights. Unbeknownst to them, Tezuka had already left with Blossom.

_Oshitari's House, 9-ish:_

Ding-dong!

Oshitari got up to get the door, wondering who would be at his house this late at night. He checked his mental list of possibilities.

"It can't be the girl scouts, they come at around 4, and we aren't expecting any guests." He checked off a couple more things on the list. "No one from the tennis team knows my address except for Gakuto, but he's probably watching his favorite TV show by now…" Oshitari then concluded that it must have been some unwanted visitor and he had no idea how right he was. And the door opened to reveal…

"Oh god, it's YOU!" the door slammed in the younger Tachibana's face. Ann banged on the door and this time Oshitari opened it, looking a little more prepared.

"Yes?" asked Oshitari in a strained voice.

"I'm here to check on the kids."

"We don't have any."

"…" Ann said playing with her hands behind her back.

"Look if there's nothing really important, I'd like to get back to studying."

"…"

Oshitari sighed, "Okay, I'm closing the door now. So good bye!" he slammed the door behind his back locking it firmly. 'And good riddance' he mentally added.

Ann however stood where she was staring at the place where Oshitari once stood. A slow evil smile spread upon her face.

_At the Tennis Courts the Next Day w/ the Regulars:_

The practice session that morning wasn't too abnormal. If it weren't for the fact that Fuji kept staring out into space, Tezuka brought in a plant bedecked in a small dress, Oishi could not stop talking to his shirt pocket, Eiji glaring at the plant at random intervals and Inui's mad scribbling. Sakuno and Tomoka weren't around to cheer them on since Ryuuzaki had asked them to help her out in cleaning up a mess that happened in her office.

The regulars were lining up for special training tips from Inui when Ryuuzaki came back with Sakuno and Tomoka, all carrying magazines, books, etc.

Ryoma ogled in their general direction before saying, "Oooh. Foxy mama."

And the tennis people were all like: OO!

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Just to let you know, that last line Ryoma said was actually said by a friend/enemy of mine, not that he meant it though. We were all acting in select parts of the play Macbeth but we could Improv any time we wanted. FYI it was used to describe Lady Macbeth. The audience had heard and all broken out in laughter and half of us, as the cast of the Improv, were ROF (literally) because it was so funny.

Oh and Happy Extremely Belated St. Patty's Day! -pinch- Yeah, I bet you're not wearing green. So Read & Review peoples, they make me happy, hyper, and hyperventilate (okay not really). So if you're still looking for an OCP then you still have time to submit them! Rules are still the same as in chapter 4.

One more question, should Sanada be included in this entire mess? I just thought of a possible part he could play. It'll make him rather OOC in a very IC way…. That did NOT just make sense.

R&R!


	6. La Chica

KitsuneFreak: Hmmm, I have to say that I can't use HiyoGaku. Instead, I'm gonna give Saeki a cameo appearance. Sorry it took so long to post. My computer crashed and I just fixed it. 

Do I own Prince of Tennis?  
IYA!

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

_Oshitari's Bedroom (He's evidently late for morning practice):_

"What the-?" Oshitari rummaged through his drawers for a 4th time. "They've got to be here!" He went over to where he kept the newer ones. When he looked through them he still didn't find what he was looking for.

"Oh boy. How am I gonna fix this?" Various possibilities filed into his brain. Out of all the possibilities only one could be taken. Ask Atobe for help. Atobe, him, of all people! Gakuto's reaction to his request would be of horror. Hiyoshi and Kabaji would probably ignore him. Choutaru would attempt to be helpful, but in the end he could do nothing about it. Shishido would never let him live without be reminded of his request and Jirou would sleep through his entire speechie request. So, in the end, only Atobe could help him. That was never a good thing.

_Seigaku Tennis Courts:_

"Echizen, what in the world did you just say?"

But it was too late; Ryoma was already heading in the direction of the women. His grip on his immortally beloved racket had loosened and it dropped to the ground in slow motion with a loud, resounding clatter. If you looked really, really closely you could see a shimmer of a tear come forth from the racket itself.

Sakuno, Ryuuzaki, and Tomo all saw Ryoma wander over.

"Look Sakuno-chan, Ryoma-sama is coming over!" Tomo started squealing and jumping up and down, essentially making a colossal fool of herself. And, if that wasn't bad enough she began pushing Sakuno from behind towards Ryoma, causing her to turn as red as a tomato…if that was possible.

"Oh my god," thought Sakuno, "Ryoma-kun is looking straight at me!" She quickly attempted to brush herself off but forgot that she was carrying a mound of books, which fell in disarray on the ground. Tomo gave her a secret thumbs up at her unintentional damsel in 'distress' technique. Sakuno quickly rushed down to pick up all the books and saw the pair of shoes stop right in front of her. Expecting Ryoma to do the manly thing and help her pick up the books she closed her eyes and look away.

"You're hot."

Sakuno looked up to find that her dear Ryoma was speaking to not her, but…her grandmother? (!)

"T-this…can't, be happening…" Sakuno mumbled and then tore off towards an undisclosed location crying, all the while screaming, "My _grandma_ even pwns me!"

Tomo dropped her pile in confu-surprise. She looked from Ryoma, to Ryuuzaki, and finally to the figure of Sakuno who was dashing away. She couldn't choose who to be around. But as time ticked away she made her choice.

"Sakuno-chan, wait!" she ran after her best friend in order to comfort her, in that undisclosed place we mentioned earlier. 

The Seigaku tennis club people wandered over to get a good look at this new couple.

"What is this new devilry? I am aghast," Kaidoh asked nobody in particular.

"Eh? Viper, since when did _you_ know how to use fancy words?"

"Pssh! Shut up!"

It was silent for a moment until the biggest loudmouth in the world decided to give his opinion on the matter.

"I blame Inui-senpai!" Horio yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the potion's master.

"Now, now," reassured Fuji, "not _everything_ is Inui's fault…although most of it still is."

Inui smirked behind the cover of his glasses. Horio did not know just how right he was (for once).

_At the Hyoutei Courts, Oshitari Finally Decided to Show Up…_

"Oh, so you finally decided to show up?" Atobe asked accusatorily. He was about to send him off on laps but curiosity got the better of him as he noticed the awkward look on the tensai's face. "Something the matter?"

"Um, yes, there is something. Uh, well…umm…you see…" Oshitari took in a deep breath.

'Did Oshitari just stutter?' Atobe wondered mentally.

"Can I borrow some money?" Oshitari blurted out a little too loudly. Gakuto nearly tripped while doing a back flip and Hiyoshi choked on his water bottle. The rest of the regulars leisurely strolled over to eavesdrop.

"No… unless you give Ore-sama a valid reason."

"I can't. It's a bit odd and rather unbelievable."

"The last time Ore-sama was kind enough to lend money to a certain _somebody_," Atobe glared at Shishido who looked all smug, "he used it all to buy rocks and bottle caps for his personal collection."

"What? Pet rocks are nice," Shishido declared wryly.

"Anyway, what's your excuse?"

"Uh, well… I'll whisper it in your ear."

"Do you know how wrong that is?" Shishido whispered into Choutaru's ear.

Now normally Atobe wouldn't be as undignified as to let someone whisper in his ear but he was just way too curious for his own good. At first Atobe listened with a completed passive look on his face that later turned into disgust and finally horror.

"What do you mean by 'your underwear disappeared?'!" Atobe said. This time Gakuto really tripped.

"Ssh! Not so loud," but looking up, the tensai knew that all the regulars heard. Shishido was the first to react, well, third after Gakuto and Atobe of course. He blew up in a fit of laughter.

"Wow, Oshitari-senpai, they really disappeared?" Jirou asked innocently. Upon pondering the issue longer another question popped up. Hiyoshi was kind enough to ask it though.

"So, is that implying that you're NOT wearing any?"

"What? Of course not!" Oshitari said.

"But you just said that they all disappeared," Gakuto chipped in.

"I'm wearing my father's, of course."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"Jeez, what kind of an idiot do you take me for?"

Everyone was silent on that one.

"Who do you think would do such a thing?" Gakuto finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Genkokuju!" Hiyoshi said. Everyone turned to look at him just as he was holding his crane-like pose.

"What's that's supposed to imply?" Choutaru asked looking at Shishido. He was the master of implications you know. But Shishido remained silent.

"What? I just felt like saying that. _I_ didn't take them. Why would I want it?"

"Hmmm," they all said, while making some odd thinking pose unique to themselves alone. Yes, Kabaji too.

…

"So…will you give me the money?" Oshitari asked again.

Atobe sighed and pulled some money out. The way he saw it, was that if he helped Oshitari then he would owe him big time.

"Oh and another thing I have to ask," Oshitari started.

(WE INTERRUPT YOUR CHAPTERLY READING OF LP9….)

**& NOW FOR A RANDOM MOMENT APART FROM LP9 INSPIRED BY MY LIFE:**

Eiji's grip suddenly loosened due to his exhaustion from practice and his racket fell to the ground with a clatter.

"Oh crabs!" he muttered.

"Why'd you say crabs Eiji? It's a rather odd and unusual exclamation," Oishi asked innocently.

"Umm," Eiji grasped for a good story to tell. "I really like crabs and am looking forward to it for dinner?"

Oishi knew at once that it was a lie and probed deeper, "No, really, tell me. Why'd you say crabs?"

"Well, weren't you the one who banned me last week from saying cra(STAR)?"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY _THAT_ WORD!"

"Eep!" the poor acrobat covered his head whimpering, "Sorry, sorry! I'll never do that again!"

**& RANDOM MOMENT HAS JUST ENDED. THANK YOU. NOW BACK TO LP9:**

(THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LETTING US WASTE YOUR TIME….)

_With Kamio on His Way to the Shopping Mall, AGAIN:_

"Darn. Why did I have to forget the grip tape and…THE HAIR GEL, NOOO I shall never redeem myself in the eyes of the great one, Tachibana-san! I skipped practice to buy it too. Will he ever forgive me?" Kamio bellowed with tear filled eyes. He waved his fist at the sky unaware of the figure shrouded in shadow. After he finished angsting he walked on briskly to buy his quest items. He pulled out his wallet to count if he had enough money. Bad move. The figure initially shrouded in shadow stepped out. This unknown man was none other than Bobby Shoe, an original character created by Kitsune Freak to create a plot for the next scene! He wore a pink shirt that bore the words, 'Real Men Wear PINK'. Now that pink clothed man stalked very quietly behind Kamio and snatched his wallet out of his hand. He took off with it immediately after leaving poor Kamio in the dust, yen-less.

Now this Bobby Shoe was never such a bad individual before. This is what really happened to make Bobby Shoe turn into such a bad person:

_What Happened that Turned Bobby Shoe Into Such a Bad Person:_

"_Oh what a beautiful day!" cried Bobby Shoe. He smiled widely as he walked, for today; he was king of the world in the tiny cubicle in which he worked in. Yes indeed. What a wonderful day it was for Bobby Shoe, the cubicle worker. Just as he passed a general merchandise store his eyes super-glued themselves to the window. There, in the display case was a PINK sun visor! Bobby Shoe was so excited that he finally found something that could match his pink shirt and watch. He pulled out his wallet to find that he was 100 yen too short and began to mope, forgetting that he'd be late to work. He didn't notice the colorful swears that were being shouted behind him. All that he cared about was that little pink visor. The visor he couldn't get. He stared at his money woe-ingly wishing, for once, that money did grow on trees. _

Well, it's pretty easy to predict what happened after that. Apparently our mad scientist's capsule got to him. However, his reaction to it was different. Instead of loving that one object, he loved all objects like looked like….MONEY. Ah yes, money is the root of all evil…

ANYWAY, this robbery left Kamio devastated and he looked around everywhere for a place where he could get quick cash…without being some random hobo.

He was about to go and cry in the corner when he spotted a 'EMPLOYEES NEEDED' sign and thanked the gods above and ran to the store. Oh, and did we mention that it was a fast food restaurant called Burger-o-Rama?

"Hello, how can I help you?" said Joe Schmoe the manager.

"Uh, yeah, I saw the sign on your window and I need a job," Said Kamio

"Well, as of the moment the only job available is the advertising one."

"The advertising one?" Kamio thought hard, really hard. And made his choice. "I'll take it!"

"Okay then," Joe shrugged, "then suit up. The costume's over there."

"Yes sir!"

**Minutes later:**

"How in the world did I take the job again?" Kamio groaned. He was standing smack-dab in the middle of the mall in a hamburger suit, with lettuce, bacon, pickles and everything.

_At Hyoutei:_

"Don't you think that this would be a bit uncomfortable if I wore it?" Oshitari asked inquisitively.

"Of course not. Have you ever doubted me before?"

"Okay, so let's go through the list again," Oshitari said quickly. "Makeup."

"Check."

"Dress."

"Check."

"High heels?"

"Check."

"That's everything."

"Che- I mean good," Atobe.

"Now, just how to put all this stuff on…"

"In less than ten minutes you'll come out looking like the coolest girl ever!" Atobe snapped his fingers and his people were on it. Looks like they're cutting class. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Just like Atobe promised, in ten minutes, Oshitari came out looking like a girl…in a dress…with makeup…and high heels.

"Okay now how do you apply the lip gloss again?" Oshitari asked.

"Okay, watch me apply my lip balm and do the same except with your gloss." Atobe then meticulously did the aforementioned task. Oshitari, of course, copied what he did with his lip gloss. Magnifico! Oshitari la chica.

_Back to Seigaku (Don't you just love them?):_

"I'm telling you Ryoma's not right in the mind," Oishi yelled but noticed that someone was not paying attention to him, "Captain…Captain? CaPtAiN! (!)"

"Aaaaah!" Tezuka clutched his ears, "Not sticky caps, anything but the sticky caps!"

Oishi sighed, "You let your guard down."

"…" the captain's eye visibly twitched.

"So, about Ryoma. F.Y.I. he's hitting on our coach. We have to do something!"

Tezuka stared long and hard at his vice-captain. "He let his guard down." Picking up Blossom he proceeded to go to class. Before he went to the lockers he stopped to look out the window and met Eiji with something behind his back.

"…" said Tezuka acknowledging the acrobat.

"Tezuka, I know this is going to hurt, but it's for your own good."

"What's for my own good?' Tezuka asked.

Without replying, Eiji whipped out a lighter from behind him, lit it and sprang towards Blossom.

"No! Tezuka Zoooone," Tezuka, glowing all Super Saiyan-like stood protecting his plant, while Eiji tripped and fell. "Blossom, are you all right?"

"Which reminds me," started Eiji, sitting in a criss-cross style and looking up. "Why do you even call it Blossom? I mean, it has no blossoms on it. It's a bonsai plant."

Tezuka then looked like he was so offended at that, "She's sensitive about that." Going into glaring mode, he said, "say that again, and …" But he left it at a cliffhanger! Oh noes!

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Did my fingers just type up all that wacked up stuff? I really put a whole bunch of unimportant things in there. Review anyway please! And if you're wondering, that crab thing _did_ happen. Is accusatorily actually a word? (O.o) Oh and I'm addicted to that name, Bobby Shoe. I think I made Ickiakki stick that name in one of her fics, too. Kakoi!

-thinks- You know, I'm just gonna go get some cookies now, and sugar crystals….Mmm… yum.

Oh and another thing I have to get out of my system, 'Inuyasha getting bit on the rear by Shippou is so hilarious! (Episode 130)'  
Okay, I'm officially done wasting your time with random intervals of my life.

R&R!


	7. Nobody's That Stupid

KitsuneFreak: Alrighty-o! Chappie 7's all yours! Frankly speaking, I typically find titles so hard to… well, title. I've started watching Death Note and reached episode 15… but I'm going to stop watching it. Just like I did with Fullmetal Alchemist. It's getting too… too…Depressing. Yeah, it's getting way too depressing… Spoilers would fill everything in for me anyway. Ah well, more time to spend on PoT. WOOT!

Disclaimer: I'll own it when money grows on trees. –attempts to make moneygrowing trees–

Oh and I'm very sorry for the extra-long hiatus, I should have said something, but it was this and then that and blah blah anime blah blah Writer's Block blah anime expo blah soo fun! Blah alien cows blah really sorry blah blah busy blah blah blah blah should have worked harder blah fan fiction blah stupid neighbors blah blah, so I was busy.

I just wasted 64 precious words all for the sake of explaining my pathetic delay of chapter 7. Please flame me. (Wait! I didn't really mean that!!!)

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

-THE narrator voice- 'Last time…'

_**FLASHBACK:**_

_**Tezuka then looked like he was so offended at that, "She's sensitive about that." Going into glaring mode, he said, "Say that again, and …"**_

-THE narrator voice- 'And now…'

"…I'll ZOOOOONE you out!" Tezuka stated firmly.

"What? But that's no fair!" Eiji whined while throwing the shoe of the poor student he tripped without the reader's knowledge, at Blossom.

"Ack!" yelled Tezuka for Blossom, whisking her away from danger.

"You know what?" Eiji started again, "that zone thing was still a really lame comeback."

"…" said Tezuka.

"I would have expected you to say something like 'I want laps', nya."

"…"

"What was I doing again?" thought Eiji striking a thoughtful pose. Reaching the conclusion he sprinted quickly, attaining final ownership of Blossom by theft. "Finally! I can destroy the likes of you," Eiji glared hard at the bonsai plant.

Leaping towards one of the open windows he stuck his hand out to drop the plant. But suddenly, out of nowhere, a gi-normous gust of wind blew in through the window. Eiji's grip on the plant loosened due to his surprise and the potted plant flew towards him. It made contact with his head and bounced off in the direction of Tezuka.

"That hurts a lot, nya!" Eiji wailed.

"That is what you get for messing with Blossom," Tezuka said after a lengthy silence.

"What is with you and that plant, anyways? There is no way one of you is falling for the other."

"…"

"Besides, what is the name 'Blossom' supposed to represent anyway?"

"Our love…which blossoms…" was Tezuka's only reply.

"Um," Eiji sighed and scratched the back of his head, "oh boy."

Giving Eiji his undivided attention, Tezuka said, "What?"

"How should I say this? It's a bonsai plant. Blossom's got no blossoms to blossom, nya."

Strike one.

"And plus, it doesn't really talk back to you… ever. You're only assuming."

Strike two.

"Thus, isn't your love what they call, unrequited?"

Strike three. (_Oooh, the burn!_)

"Perhaps you are right…" Tezuka sighed and looked down. Like REALLY down (as in sad, of course).

"But then again…" the captain started, "you may just be… "

He shifted his weight to his left leg, "-jealous that I have a girlfriend and YOU don't!" With that Tezuka's legs turned into anime-style wheels made of wind and zoomed off campus.

"Jeez, what over reaction at my logical analysis of the situation…" sighed Eiji, unaware of the fact that he was using words that he didn't even know the meaning to. "At least, I think it was logical…"

Putting his arms behind his head as in the manner of stretching he walked in the direction of the cafeteria, considering what he could possibly find there.

_With Fuji Searching for… Yeah. We haven't been with 'em in a Long Time:_

"Darling?" Fuji called in a sing song voice, "Where are you?"

Behind him, Mizuki hid behind a couple of bushes wondering who he angered up there to deserve such a horrid fate. But still, he watched tentatively in the bushes, hoping that Fuji would just go somewhere else.

"Oh?" Fuji started, picking up something suspiciously red & round & fruit-like, "what's this? An apple?"

On the other side of the bushes Mizuki was busy scratching his head. 'Why does that look so familiar?' He thought to himself.

His slow brain cells finally reached the horrid conclusion and he slow-mo jumped at Fuji while Fuji slow-mo bit into the red & apparently juicy apple.

"Noooooooooo! (!) !(!)" Mizuki screamed in a very Darth Vader-like manner. Uncoordinated as he secretly was, he succeeded in only shoving the apple at Fuji. Not smooth indeed.

Fuji was way too busy coughing up the portion of the apple that he ate, therefore, could not take note of who his attacker was.

Mizuki, on the other hand was trying to save the remnants of Ringa, the (apparently) juicy, red apple. But now, she was less attractive due to the gaping chunk of apple that was missing.

"How can this – this _be_?" Mizuki moaned to the heavens above. Somehow, magically, a spotlight lit up only him, leaving the rest of the world engulfed in darkness.

Sniffling pathetically, he cradled the apple in his arms and wandered in the direction of home. "I shall give you the best funeral ever. Don't be afraid my love, the compost heap isn't so bad. Plus you'll most likely get reincarnated into a beautiful flower. And then we shall meet again!"

_With a Pair of Fools:_

"Remind me again on how I got into this mess?" Atobe murmured while hiding secret agent style behind a bench.

"You said 'sure why not?' How could you have forgotten?"

The ice emperor then rolled his eyes at Oshitari, "No I meant how you convinced me."

Oshitari opened his mouth to answer but he was deterred from doing so by the inconvenient thwacking of a hand across his face.

"Don't contradict me."

"But I just-"

Thwack.

"Fine."

…

Thwack.

"What was that for?" Oshitari yelped, touching the injury gingerly.

"Just checking," Atobe replied.

"Ok so what are we supposed to do now?" Oshitari asked.

"Well, a pack of girls strolled into the bathroom and you said that you saw 'Braid Girl' in the pack. So we're going to perform the most logical course of action."

"And what's that?"

Atobe looked off into the distance with harsh cold eyes and said, "We go in."

Be very aware right now that the camera has just zoomed in on Oshitari's horrified face with the scary movie theme where it has only 3 main beats and ends with a very feminine scream. Thank you.

_Creator of the 25 oz bottle! J/k, it's Inui:_

Inui was just strolling along casually looking like he had nothing else to do. But oh, you'd be surprised, he had much to do. He suddenly felt like beating up a random unknown kid for his lunch money. Just kidding!

He was actually looking for Shinji who stilled owed him five yen.

Unbeknownst to the both of them they were on the same street walking towards each other. Fate must have wanted them to meet. How touching indeed.

Inevitable so, the met, or rather just crossed paths. Shinji would have kept on going like the energizer bunny and not have noticed a thing. But Inui, with his eyes glued to the sidewalk recognized Shinji's shoe!

Holding his hand out to his side towards Shinji, he said in a deep voice, "Hand it over."

Surprised, Shinji looked up and saw Inui.

"Great, first a headache and now this?" Shinji mumbled to himself.

"Like I said, hand it over, you have no place to run…" Inui said threateningly.

"Why would I need to run in the first place?" Shinji asked inquisitively.

"Because you still owe me 5 yen."

"Dang."

Inui's outstretched hand curled in a manner as though saying 'Gimme the money' but of course with Inui as suave as he was, he would _never_ say it.

Sighing heavily Shinji fished his pockets to pay off his debt. However, when he gave it to Inui he accidentally bumped his hand into Inui's green backpack. And then, a notebook that looked awfully green toppled out. Inui looked rather blue at that particular moment. Shinji became white as a ghost. Oh dear what could this mean?

Bending down again to pick up the notebook Shinji was about to hand it over along with the 5 yen, but pulled the notebook back for closer inspection.

Before running off into the sunset.

With the notebook.

And of course the 5 yen that he owed Inui.

_Choutaru's House:_

"So in order to get 5x² from 3 you have to-" Choutaru stopped, noticing that his red haired friend was missing again.

Sighing he got up and went to look for the aforementioned friend. He even had to wake Shishido up from his little nap on the couch (with a history book over his face) and both went searching. They found him at last, hiding behind a laundry basket.

Scratching his head Shishido said "You know how wrong it is to hide behind a laundry basket? What were you even thinking?"

Gakuto hung his head dejectedly.

"If you are the one who asked me for help on homework then why do you keep running away? What am I a bad teacher?" Choutaru asked.

"No, that's not the problem." Gakuto started and looked off into the distance. "I just keep, getting this feeling."

"What feeling?" Choutaru & Shishido asked in synchronization.

"I get the feeling that Yuushi's doing something really stupid!"

"Like?" Choutaru & Shishido leaned in for the finale.

"What if- what if Yuushi's cross dressing as a high school student at some school that we are rivals with all for the sake of a girl whom he doesn't even know the name of? He might be sneaking into the girl's bathroom as we speak!"

"Eww," Shishido whispered to Choutaru's ear, "You know how wrong that would be?"

"Oh come on," Choutaru patted Gakuto's back, "no one is stupid enough to do _that_, especially not Oshitari-senpai."

_With Oshitari & Atobe:_

With a shove, Atobe launched the dress-bedecked Oshitari into the women's restroom.

Opening his shut eyelids he looked around. All the girls had crowded around the sink chatting but their chatter fell silent as they looked at the intruder… before going back to their pointless ramblings.

Oshitari, taking this as his moment to 'look normal' walked more towards the inside of the bathroom where to his surprise were empty stalls and, of course a comfy-looking armchair.

"Why do they even bother coming into the restroom if nature isn't calling?" was Oshitari's first thought.

His second thought that he accidentally said aloud was, "How come you girls get armchairs and we don't?"

"What do you mean? All the girls' bathrooms have couches" Tomoka spoke up, magically appearing behind Oshitari's shoulder.

"Wait a sec, I just noticed, why aren't you wearing a school uniform?" A girl whom we will just call Mary said. She had brilliant locks of purple hair despite the fact that she was born in Japan to a typical Japanese couple. Wowza.

"Isn't it obvious? She must be a transfer!" Another girl, who went by the name of Sue, pushed in for a closer look at the man-woman¹. She had tresses of aqua colored hair also despite the fact that she, too, was born in Japan to a typical Japanese couple.

Mary & Sue were actually twins come from another dimension to save the world from aliens, cross dressers, Voldemort, bugs, other evil villains, and giant mobile suits with the power of love and friendship. Students by day and super heroines by night. Together, Mary & Sue were undefeatable. Oh the cliché-anity!

But ANYWAY, going back on track, it was a little obvious to tell that Oshitari was in a rather awkward situation.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

¹: I don't know if it's used elsewhere but this is a tiny reference to the anime _Le Chevalier D'eon_. Lorenzia became so frustrated at always being defeated by D'eon & his sister's soul that she began calling him man-woman. I can see where the term comes from though.

KitsuneFreak: Once again I have to say I'm sorry for this really long hiatus. I hope it never happens again any time soon.

Oh! While I was on hiatus, I made several videos (if you can call them that) and one of them is a PoT one. If you want to watch them here's a place you can go:

Youtube (dot) com (slash) profile?user (equal sign) KitsuneFreak

Since I've gone to the Anime Expo '07 I've been introduced to so many more animes! _Utawarerumono_ seems like a cool one. You can say that I've absolutely fallen in love with _Le Chevalier D'eon_ and I finished the series within the span of 2 days. Man, I was so close to crying at the end (it's only 24 episodes). But of course I will not let that in any way interfere with my story making!

Before I started this story tonight, I had ½ a foot long piece of peppermint stick. And, as I am typing this last message right now, I am biting into the last crumb…

I really know I don't deserve it but…. Please review! I still love you guys! (Dude, not in _that_ way)

R&R!

Phew! Finally done with that candy! D


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